Cussing at Work

Because virtually everything I have posted in the past several months has been tied to something unpleasant, I offer a break from the down slide. Thanks to my sister for the forward:

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore,a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner..

Number 1

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with....
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem..

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Bobbie Update - August 4, 2009

Many of you have been contacted directly and I apologize to those that have not, but this update bears the burden of being a final one in reference to Bobbie's battle with cancer. She passed away on Thursday of last week, July 30th, in the early afternoon.

Shortly following my previous update, she had a very difficult weekend during which she developed breathing difficulties and was placed on oxygen permanently. Four days later the nurse assessed her condition and modified the previous 6-10 week expectancy down significantly to 1-2 weeks. Bobbie and I began fervently planning the next week in an attempt to get as many of the visitors that she particularly wanted to see to her side as quickly as possible in hopes that she would have a chance to say goodbye in person to at least a significant few. Unfortunately, she had a very difficult Tuesday night, Wednesday and Wednesday night and Thursday brought the end.

Killian had the opportunity to give his mommy a hug and a kiss goodbye on Thursday morning before they took her to the hospital, and for that I am thankful. For that matter, I count many of us as exceptionally fortunate to have had the extended time with her that we did once her condition was known. She was an amazing woman in both sickness and in health. I loved her dearly and am exceedingly proud to have claimed her as my wife. Even more so to have her as the mother of my child. Killian's chief misunderstanding in this short time after her passing is that "I don't have a mommy anymore." To this, I consistently reply with "She will always be your mommy. You will never be without one."

He and I, no doubt, have a difficult road of grieving and healing ahead of us as we face life as single father and son, but I have no doubt that the memory of her strength will continue to lend us our own as we find our way along. And to the many of you that have offered your unyielding support thus far and continue to offer to do so, I thank you each dearly.

Several people have inquired as to wanting to send flowers or do something for the family. We ask that you do not send flowers for, though the gesture is most appreciated, the result is but temporary. Instead, we ask that if you wish to contribute something that you do so in one of the following manners:

• send a donation in the name of Killian McRae to our home address which will be put toward Killian's future needs (college, etc.)
• make a donation to one of the following foundations/charities working on the disease which took Bobbie's life
• http://www.melanoma.org/ (research oriented)
• http://www.melanomafoundation.org/
• http://www.melanomaprevention.org/ (this foundation is dedicated to preventing melanoma in children)
• http://www.melanomasupport.org/
• http://www.foundationformelanomaresearch.org/ (research oriented)

I hope to be able to view this as a release from sickness and suffering for Bobbie rather than and end to life and would ask that you try to do the same. We will each endure this news and experience in our own fashion and I encourage you to embrace whatever that brings you and to recognize the value of your own life and of your loved ones as you do. It is so very easy to take them for granted.