Facing Tough Competition on the Court

My first time on a tennis court in years. I forgot how fun casual play actually is.

Dear Santa

Killian's unprompted and uncoached letter to Santa before going to bed.  Man do I love that kid.

[click the picture for a larger version]

Killian and I Get Festive

Well, we got professional portraits done, at least.  At the risk of ending up on awkwardfamilyphotos.com at some future date, here they are (along with the realization that I need to either fix my or get at new scanner).  The fashion choices were his.

Gingerbread House - First Attempt

This was my first shot at a gingerbread house that I can remember.  Granted it was built from a kit, but I think it turned out pretty well overall.  Killian and I had a lot of fun assembling/decorating it.  I did assembly and icing.  He took care of the decorations.

Killian Flag Football 2011

Killian chose to play flag football this fall.  The name of the team was the Raiders and they went an impressive 0 - HoweverManyTheyLost.  :D  Yeah, they got pretty creamed but he had a great time and it seemed like they all did.  From a parenting perspective, it was a pretty fun sport to watch and the coaches were great.  Kudos to i9 Sports on that note.  Click on the picture below for a larger version.

Posting From Pizza

Ok, not actually from pizza but while at a pizza joint with Killian. Sitting here while he works on his homework. This brings back memories of sitting at Dino's as a kid with my dad practicing spelling and drawing. Pretty sure I learned how to spell "Chevrolet" there and to draw three dimensional letters.

Killian Gets Kinected

We got a Kinect and Killian digs it. Here is some Dance Central action:

And some Fruit Ninja action:

Killian Second Grade Picture

Killian chose to wear his button up shirt and tie for his picture this year (click the pic for a larger version).  As usual, it's amazing how much they change between each year.

Pescatarian? Is that really a word?

Three weeks ago I decided to give a vegetarian diet a try.  Mostly to trick myself into eating healthier mixed with a desire to lose about 20 pounds.  I'm proud to say that I have stuck with it to this point.  I say "vegetarian" but what I apparently mean is known as "pescatarian".  That is to say that I'm eating no meat other than seafood.

I'd have to say that the most difficult portion of trying to eat this way has been coming up with stuff to eat at home.  Eating out under this restriction is actually fairly easy outside of the typical fast food chains (McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King) unless you specifically want a salad.  Even then, the meal sized ones typically include chicken.  Taco Bell is a friend to this diet effort.  I have also been utilizing veggie subs from the local sandwich fast food shops (Quizno's, Jimmy John's) extensively.

The result is that I have managed to dump 7 pounds thus far (see the bottom of the blog for my weight loss tracker) and not had to suffer too much to do so.  I definitely feel good about the food choices that this effort is forcing me into as well.  To my amazement, I'm eating a multitude of bean dishes to which I would have turned up my nose in the past.  Lots of fresh and steamed vegetables and fruits (ok, not steamed fruits, but blended ones smoothie style) as well.

In addition to eating the right kinds of foods, I'm also tracking my calories, carbs fat & protein intake on myfitnesspal.com which has been a good free Weight Watchers alternative.

So, we'll see how long I can ride this thing out.  In conjunction with my shoulder rehab/recovery, I intend to introduce an exercise regimen slowly along with the diet to see if I can produce even more effective results.  So far I've added only the elliptical machine but that burns off about 300 calories for a 30 minute workout each day so it's definitely helping.

The Diary of a One-Armed (Temporarily) Man

So, thanks to rotator cuff repair surgery, I have spent the last 3 weeks in a sling (the Slingshot 2 to be exact).  The surgery was on my primary shoulder (right) so it's been quite the challenge learning how to do things with one hand, much less my *left* hand.  I have 3 weeks still to go in the sling so on a positive note, I'm beyond the 1/2 way point.  On a negative note, I still have as long to go as I've already endured.  Fortunately, the pain has been very bearable and I began physical therapy last week.  Only 6 months of that to go (yipes!) before I have full range of motion back and about a year before I'm back to full strength.  In the meantime, here's a list of things I've learned are particularly tough one-handed (especially if it's your secondary) thus far:

• washing your hair
• washing your face (both of these are typical two-handed tasks for me and though very doable one-handed, they're pretty awkward)
• washing the armpit of your secondary arm (this is among the toughest on the list)
• fastening your pants
• putting on a belt
• fastening a belt
• putting on socks
• tying your shoes
• putting on a shirt (this is tough because I can't lift the busted arm)
• tucking in a shirt (I have deemed this a near impossibility)
• brushing your teeth (again, very doable but very awkward with the off-hand)
• shaving (the right side of my face is significantly less closely shaved than the left now)
• putting anything into or taking anything out of the opposite side pants pocket
• carrying a laundry basket (much less up/down stairs)
• changing bed linens (fitted sheet in particular - pillow cases are also a bit tough)
• folding laundry (shirts especially)
• giving someone a proper hug
• shaking hands (this one comes up a lot at work with vendors)
• typing (the sacrifices I make to post)
• writing
• sweeping/mopping a floor
• unlocking the door to the house with anything in your hand
• carrying the recycling bin to the curb
• retrieving anything from your pocket while driving (a near impossibility while observing any sense of safety)
• scooping out ice cream
• push-ups/pull-ups (just kidding)

Today at therapy they added in the Norco Shoulder Pulley so hopefully that will start me back on my way to being able to use this thing a bit in a few weeks.  Guess we'll see.

Year two

Today marks the end of the second year since we lost Bobbie.  It amazes me how it feels like yesterday and like forever ago at the same time.  Killian starts 2nd grade on Monday and he was just starting kindergarten when she passed.  So much has happened in the interim that it all feels like a dream.

I miss her daily and dearly as does Killian.  He has done an amazing job getting by without her though.  I am so proud as she would be, no doubt.  This post feels like it needs a lot more in the way of words but I think these few convey my sentiments.

One down...

Killian finally lost his first tooth at age 7 + 1 month.

Mother's Day Balloon Release 2011

Ok, so I'm finally getting around to processing some pictures and video.  As mentioned in the previous post, we have adopted a butterfly release as an annual tradition for Bobbie's birthday.  In addition to that, at the mention by a friend, we also adopted a balloon release on Mother's Day.  I thought I had mentioned it last year but I can't find it in the blog.  In any case, this year we wrote some messages on the balloons and I managed to get a few pictures and a short video.

I think this one is a bigger deal to Killian at the moment than the butterfly release on her birthday.  In either case, both are very special and meaningful.  I cut the video short a bit but we stand out there and watch them until they can no longer be seen.  Killian believes that mommy is an angel and that she takes them up to Heaven with her.

Bobbie's 40th Birthday Butterfly Release

For those that attended, you may recall that we did a butterfly release at Bobbie's "memorial service".  It proved to be a nice bright moment on a day during which it was difficult to find an upbeat thought.  In particular, Killian responded very positively to it after a stint of justified crying.

As a result, I elected to do a small, private butterfly release with just myself and Killian on her first birthday following her passing last year and then again this year.  My neighbor was kind enough to take a few pictures of the event last year which I elected not to post at the time and this year I took some video of Killian performing the release.  He chose to say a prayer in preface to the release this year completely of his own volition which I thought was very sweet.  I chose to share the video from this year's release as time has eased the pain ever so slightly and I feel that many will find it touching to see Killian reaching out to his mom in one of the few ways he can.  So, without further ado, here is the video.

Killian Baseball 2011

Killian's baseball season for 2011 drew to a close last weekend.  He really enjoyed playing this season so it looks like I'll be in for another round next year at least.  It was an interesting year because mid-season they switched from t-ball to coach pitched.  I never played coach pitched as a kid so that was an entirely new experience for me.  Killian did pretty well for getting absolutely no practice at home and he had a great time each game.  The coaches were great with him which has been a pretty consistent experience at the YMCA for which I am thankful.  I also got a chance to meet several parents on the sidelines and had an enjoyably social season as a result.  Here is his personal and team picture for the year (click the picture for larger version).

Video footage of one of his games:

That marks the end of anything sporty for the summer due to my upcoming shoulder surgery.  His next scheduled foray into children's team sports is scheduled for flag football this fall.  He is really excited about that as well.  He has been asking me if he could play football for the past two years now.  I'm actually pretty glad to be dodging anything outside this summer.  Baseball was a beast for that matter this spring.  Too hot.

Sing and Slideshow

I went to Killian's school for his 1st grade play.  Well, it wasn't so much a play as a collection of skits.  It was fun and cute for the parents as you might expect.  I recorded the entirety of it and am posting it here.  It's pretty long (22 minutes in total).  Just fair warning.  Killian's individual skit is the first thing in part 2 if you want to jump specifically to that.  He has singing and dancing parts elsewhere so watch it in full if you are so inclined.  It is broken into 2 parts due to YouTube time restrictions.  I was sitting in the front row so it was pretty tough to capture more than 1 or 2 kids in any given shot.

Part 1/2

Part 2/2

Tweets November 9, 2010 Through June 4, 2011

The DQ rock and roll falcon is pretty funny.
4-Jun

Why, why, why is $x9.99 still an effective pricing technique? Who is this still influencing?
1-Jun

I remain fairly confident that Jesse Eisenberg and Michael Cera are the same person.
I am strongly considering utilizing some official training dollars or college credits to figure out how to fold a frickin' fitted sheet!
30-May

Killian has strep throat. Apparently he wanted me to remember how much that sucked for Memorial Day.
29-May

Pinkeye the clown. Rapey the clown. Stinkfist the clown. Upchuckles the clown. Shits and Giggles the clown. #badclownnames
28-May

Ok folks, let's hear 'em. Paulsey the clown #badclownnames
Mathematically speaking, The Hangover Part II = The Hangover - Vegas + Thighland + "Part II".
Killian just asked me "Is she still alive?" http://yfrog.com/h6bwfvwj
Swagger? I hardly even know 'er.
27-May

Pronouns are so much better than amateur nouns. The problem is that they know it. They have a swagger about them.
Ugh. Baseball practice + 90 degrees + 6:30pm = bleh.
25-May

Improper grammar just seems to amplify its stupidity on twitter and facebook, which is amazing without inflection to help it along.
23-May

Ok, gotta give credit where it's due. The Imagination Movers put on a GREAT show! It was a surprisingly good time.
22-May

At The Imagination Movers concert in Durham. Yeah, that right. There seems to be an overabundance of little people here.
Killian continues to crack me up by referring to things from the Star Wars universe as "a Star War". R2-D2 is a Star War to him.
21-May

Pediatrics = foot drama?
2-May

Killian just awoke from a nightmare about the tornado. Wish I could have kept it on the sly from him today. :(
16-Apr

And here comes the pollen.
4-Apr

Saw my namesake movie tonight. Not bad. Much better than I feared.
3-Apr

Chilly night for the house heat to go out. Better than tomorrow night according to the forecast. HVAC guy scheduled for tomorrow.
27-Mar

It is entirely too cold for outdoor "Spring activities".
26-Mar

Annoying terms in my world: "spin class"
23-Mar

Things I learned in high school that my kid is learning in first grade: home row.
Just had a Concrete at Goodberry's (think DQ Blizzard) - raspberry with Reese's Cups mixed in. Not certain I made the best flavor selection.
19-Mar

As always, *so* glad I not to be necroleptic.
Just got back from Killian's 2nd soccer game. 2-1 victory for his team! He did well at midfield and goalie.
Just got back from Killian's first hockey game. An overtime win for the home team! Exciting and fun. We had a great time.
18-Mar

Is it just me or is that comically confusing wording?http://plixi.com/p/84257543
15-Mar

I need my house trim painted. Anybody "got a guy" or had a good experience with a co. in the Raleigh area?
12-Mar

Who doesn't love some Goodberry's? $4 for $8 worth on Groupon today: groupon.com/raleigh-durham…
24-Feb

Played #FiveCrowns todayhttp://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/1472 #bggplay
13-Feb

Played #LiarsDice today http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/45 #bggplay
12-Feb

Played #Endeavor todayhttp://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/33160 #bggplay
Played #CatchPhrase todayhttp://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/2582 #bggplay
Played #GlenMore todayhttp://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/66362 #bggplay
Played #Vineta today http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/27532 #bggplay
New blog post: http://irritablebunion.blogspot.com/2011/01/wow-thats-freaky-to-seehear-live.html
5-Jan

Yes, that last tweet was legit - not spam. - Paul
9-Nov

Not One Second More!

Well that seems a tad specific, doesn't it?  "Frozen heat for 48 seconds"?

Pharmaceutical Customer Service Fail

Does anything about this picture strike anyone else as frustrating?

The answer lies in the fact that this is a children's prescription liquid suspension medication to be administered with the pictured syringe.  Notice that the size of the syringe in no way corresponds to the amount of medication remaining in the bottle (this picture was taken at day 3 of a 10 day dosage).  There is clearly no way that the syringe can reach the medication when the bottle is upright nor can it be tilted in such a fashion that the liquid and syringe can meet due to the size of the syringe vs. the size of the mouth & neck of the bottle.  Sure, it's simple enough to overcome by emptying a portion of the medication into a second container before introducing the syringe but that shouldn't be necessary with a dosage bottle that would accommodate the syringe.

Just a parental frustration I wanted to air.

2 New Family Members

I realized yesterday that, at age 40, I was buying my first new washer/dryer set. Pretty lucky run.

Imagination Moved

Killian and I attended an Imagination Movers concert/live show at Durham Performing Arts Center (DPAC) on Sunday, May 22nd.  It was the best father and son experience we have had (in my opinion) since the day he arrived into my life.

[Click on any of the pictures for a larger version]

The setup:

Killian started watching the imagination movers with regularity starting when they first aired in 2008 on the Disney Channel.  It's the only fad I can bring to mind that has retained his keen interest from then until now.  He absolutely loves the show and can sing along with pretty much every song in every episode aired to date.  We keep a steady queue of 7 of them (more than any other show) on our DVR at any given time.  The three word synopsis:  He's a fan.

Way back in January the Disney channel started advertising that they were touring and Killian immediately began telling me every time this commercial aired.  In secret, I purchased tickets in February and managed to keep that and our attendance under wraps until the minute we arrived at the venue.  I pondered for a bit over which tickets to go with as seating varied in price and they had a special "Mini Movers Package" which allowed for attendance at an "after party" photo op/meet and greet following the show.  I finally decided on the best seats and tacked on the Mini Movers Package.  I figured what the heck, you only live once eh?  So, $250 later, we had our two tickets and I had my surprise to try to contain for the next 3 1/2 months.

The day of:

I told him that I had to run some errands, he had to come with me and it was going to take a few hours.  He wasn't so happy about that since it was 2:00pm on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and he wanted to stay home and play outside.  Nonetheless, I convinced him of his fate and we were on our way to the 4:00pm show (doors opened at 3:00pm).  We made great time and found a good parking place quickly.  I popped in his Imagination Movers CD for the ride so I was cleverly prepping him without direct awareness.  What a sneaky dad.  

So we go to the theater at about 2:30pm and the 1:30 show was still running so we had to sit on the steps outside and wait until they let us in once that show let out.  While we were sitting there, they were playing the 1:30pm show over the loudspeakers.  That was kind of a bummer because I figured it would ruin some of the show for him if he heard end of the story/plot while we waited.  It didn't take long before his ears perked up and he said "Daddy, that's the Imagination Movers!".  I responded with a "What?  Where?" and he hopped up ran to the spot underneath the speaker playing the music and said "Right there!  That's them!  Are they here?!?  Are we going to see them?!?"  I told him that we were and that I had bought the tickets as a surprise and that we were going to see them in about an hour.  Now I don't know that he somehow manually prevented himself from doing so, but I'm willing to bet by the look on his face that his pants came very close to being officially "pooped".

He then proceeded to inquire with any theater personnel that he could access as to the intimate details of the lives of the cast members.  None of them knew anything about the Imagination Movers, of course, but they were exceptionally nice and friendly to Killian's endless stream of inquiry.  When they finally opened up the doors to allow us entry he saw the banners and lobby decorations and was unbelievably additionally excited.  This was my first time at DPAC and, in case I forget to mention it later, it was a really nice facility.  I look forward to seeing other shows there in the future.  We walked in and got in the special line to pick up our Mini Movers Package which included an after party pass for each of us (pictured below this paragraph) and a special wristband to indicate our seating section (Orchestra section, back row, toward the right D 111 and D 112 - section (1) on this chart).

Once we had our creds, we headed upstairs to the theater seating level.  As soon as we got to the top of the stairs there *they* were.  In plain site for all to see doing the photo ops at the after party with the folks from the 1:30pm show.  I can't confirm that Killian was vibrating at this point but he was a bit blurry.  Once he recovered from his initial awe, we made our way over to the souvenir table where he selected his official souvenir for the show: a stuffed animal of Warehouse Mouse (a puppet character from the show).  His choices were a pick of 3 different Imagination Movers shirts, a replica of Smitty's cowboy hat or an official Imagination Movers jumpsuit.  OK, to be fair, at $70, I took the jumpsuit out of the list of options for him.

Once we had secured his souvenir friend, we waited about 10-15 minutes for the theater doors to open to allow seating.  Again, I must speak to the politeness and friendliness of the theater personnel.  It was amazing considering the throngs of 3-7 year old children in the midst.  We headed in, plopped down in our seats (so awesomely close to the stage) and awaited the beginning of the show.  We were surrounded on both sides by friendly and talkative concert goers which helped to pass this short time.  In fact, one of them even took this picture of the two of us while we waited.

Here's a pretty terrible shot of our view of the stage.  My apologies for the darkness:

The show finally began with a performance by Choo-Choo Soul.  For only two of them they were very entertaining and engaging.  Genevieve has a great voice and D.C. is a beatboxing and breakdancing maniac.  It was a great opening to the show that had all of the kids up and out of their seats jumping and dancing along with the pair.  They performed for about 20 minutes and then introduced the Imagination Movers.

Once the Movers came out the kids and parents alike offered up a healthy greeting and so began the main show.  I'm not going to describe the show round for round but suffice it to say that it was really fun and engaging.  The sound was great and the volume was pretty much perfect.  They spent a surprising amount of time meandering through the audience during their performance (it wasn't difficult with 5 of them to split up between the stage and the audience).  Our seats afforded Killian the opportunity to see each of them up close and get multiple high fives and they frequently used the aisle between the orchestra pit and the first seats of the next section up as an easy path.  We were at the very back of the orchestra section so he was able to easily pivot in his chair and face them as they passed and stopped throughout the show.  That said, a high five to dad for picking some great seats.  

They played for about 60-75 minutes and announced during the show something that came as a surprise to me.  This was the last show of the tour.  It was their 101st of 101 shows starting in January.  I had inadvertently bought tickets to the last possible chance to see them on this tour!  That was also great news because it added a little something to the show.  They did a couple of extra numbers and spent some extra time at the end of the show celebrating on stage as well as some extra thanking of the audience for the support over the course of the tour and such and to the staff and cast.  I'm sure they thank them all as a typical part of the show but you could tell these were the "thanks for the whole tour" ones.  Pretty cool.

Following the show we made our way over to the after party which was held in an area that was basically the size of a large school classroom.  There were roughly 150 attendees at the after party not counting staff/cast.  On average, they consisted of families of four so it was a pretty close to even split of adults/kids.  They had a couple of snacks and bottles of water (so needed) for the attendees which we munched on while we waited for the movers to arrive.  After about 15-20 minutes the Movers and Choo-Choo Soul arrived to the room.  It was really pretty neat because it was intimate enough to be up close to them as they just kind of mingled their way into the room to the thrill of both the kids and many of the parents.  The Movers did a couple of impromptu songs with portable mics and guitars.  That was fun because Mover Scott was out among the pool of kids singing as the other guys were standing up on a table playing and singing their parts.  All of the kids were involved and Killian was right there front and center.  It is impossible to describe his elation at this experience.

Once they wrapped up the short performance, they moved over to the photo op section of the room and the attendees lined up in groups for a chance to get a picture with the guys.  We were in group A so we got to go up among the first crowd.  They greeted each family with equal excitement and genuine thanks for attending, shaking hands and asking names.  The emcee announced that autograph opportunities and such would follow the photo ops so if you wanted to stick around you could.  When we got our turn for the photo, each member made a point of shaking hands and thanking us for coming out to the show.  Like everyone before and after me, I'm sure, I told them that their performance was great and thanked them for putting on a good show.  They seemed genuinely appreciative.  Truly so or not, they convinced me so that's good enough to me.  Here's our official photo:

Since everything was going well and Killian was in an ongoing great mood, we stuck around while the rest of the crowd had their photo ops.  In the meantime, Genevieve and D.C. from Choo-Choo Soul were readily available for autographs and conversation and were very friendly and approachable.  D.C. kept crowds of kids occupied for about 45 minutes drawing pictures on inflated balloons, having a balloon fight, signing autographs and teaching kids to beatbox.  He was really awesome with them.  Genevieve was as beautiful as she is on television and was very friendly with parents and kids alike as well.  I wish them both great success and told them as much as well as congratulating them on a great performance.

The place cleared out considerably as most people left following their photo op and by the time the entire group was done getting pictures taken only about 30 of us remained.  This allowed Killian virtually unfettered access to his TV heroes and they were amazing with him.  They answered his relentless questions without hesitation, looked him in the eye truly engaged and shook hands, hugged and high fived him at his command.  With each question answered that confirmed the magic of the show (Dave's hat *was* really full of all those things and Warehouse Mouse *did* really talk and Smitty could understand him), Killian looked up at me with amazement and a giant smile having proved that it was all "real".  Humorously, he was totally shy around Nina which kind of bummed me out because I was all for spending more time with her.  ;)  In addition to the autographed poster they provided along with the photo op, Killian managed to get his CD booklet (which daddy cleverly thought to bring in with them) autographed by all of them as well.

As we finally were getting ready to walk out the door, Rich and Scott both came over individually to bid us farewell and thank us again for coming out to support them.  Just the cherry on top of the whole experience.  They seem to be very genuinely good guys.

Once we got into the car I looked at the clock and it read 7:00pm.  We had been there for 4 1/2 hours and it seemed like maybe 2.  To Killian it likely seemed more like 30 minutes.  It was a truly wonderful time.  I had tears in my eyes on at least three separate occasions but I managed to choke them back in manly fashion and keep my rep in check.  It was just so touching and special to witness a dream come true for your child.  To see TV step off the screen and be right there to engage and touch.  In addition to that, the show has special ties for me as Killian began watching it right before Bobbie became really ill.  It is something that he was able to share with her several times and I thought to myself how much she would have so very enjoyed being there with us as he got to experience this fantasy.

As I started with, it was the best father and son experience that I have had with Killian.  As a result, the Imagination Movers have made a fan for life of me thanks to their approachability and sincerity and the magic they brought to a day in my life with Killian.  There is no price that can be put on that.  If I'd known the wonderful time that it brought us, I would have readily paid ten times the ticket price.  No question about it.

Killian Soccer 2011 Wraps Up

It seems like Killian really enjoyed soccer this season.  He was much more interested and involved and progressed really nicely in the game.  Here are his individual and team pics taken at the YMCA (click for larger):

And here is a picture taken at home after the end of season party where they gave out trophies and awards.  He's holding up his trophy in this one:

 And here is his certificate for the award he was presented with, "Best Rookie".  There were three rookie kids on his team this year so that's a decent accomplishment.

I missed the deadline for T-ball/baseball this summer so his likely next round will be flag football in the fall unless I get his in for a round of gymnastics or something over the summer (preferably something indoors).

iPad 2: Electric Boogaloo

I was able to sell my original iPad for a reasonable price and, in turn, picked up an iPad 2.  So far, so good.  It is about 1/2 the thickness of the original which, to me, is the most notable difference.  It also has some internal upgrades but they aren't really that noticeable in my use as of yet.  I'm sure that future apps will make their presence more apparent.  The only upgrade I added was bumping it from a 16GB to a 32GB model.  Sadly, between 2 movies and a plethora of apps, I had actually managed to fill up my 16GB model.

I'll admit, I use it more than I would have suspected.  Mostly for games, web browsing, email and streaming Netflix.  Typing on it is pretty sucky, so I mostly use if for read only type of interaction.

[image swiped from http://marketplayground.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/ipad2-big.jpg]

http://www.amazingsuperpowers.com/2011/03/key-to-the-city/

Key to the City

Words to Live By

I posted this to my facebook but it's worth noting here also.  Well written with emotion.  Very worth a read.

You just broke your child.  Congratulations.

For preservation sake, I've copied the content here.  Please click on the link above for the original article and to give the author the appropriate web traffic if you like the article.

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You just broke your child. Congratulations.

Dads. Stop breaking your children. Please.

I feel a need to write this post after what I witnessed at Costco yesterday. Forgive me for another post written in desperation and anger. Please read all the way to the end. I know it's long, but this is something that needs to be said. It's something that needs to be heard. It's something thatneeds to be shared.

As Noah and I stood in line to make a return, I watched as a little boy (he couldn't have been older than six) looked up at his dad and asked very timidly if they could buy some ice cream when they were done. The father glared him down, and through clenched teeth, growled at the boy to "leave him alone and be quiet". The boy quickly cowered to the wall where he stood motionless and hurt for some time.

The line slowly progressed and the child eventually shuffled back to his father as he quietly hummed a childish tune, seemingly having forgotten the anger his father had just shown. The father again turned and scolded the boy for making too much noise. The boy again shrunk back and cowered against the wall, wilted.

I was agitated. I was confused. How could this man not see what I see? How could this man not see what a beautiful spirit stood in his shadow? How could this man be so quick to stub out all happiness in his own boy? How could this man not cherish the only time he'll ever have to beeverything to this boy? To be the person that matters most to this boy?

We were three from the front now, and the boy started to come towards his dad yet again. His dad immediately stepped out of the line, jammed his fingers into his son's collar bones until he winced in pain, and threatened him. "If you so much as make a sound or come off of that wall again, I promise you're going to get it when we get home." The boy again cowered against the wall. This time, he didn't move. He didn't make a sound. His beautiful face pointed down, locked to the floor and expressionless. He had been broken. And that's how his father wanted it. He didn't want to deal with him, and breaking him was the easiest way.

And we wonder why so many of our kids grow up to be screwed up.

I'm going to be blunt. People see my relationship with Noah, and quite often put me up on a pedestal or sing my praises for loving him more than most dads love their own kids.

Damn it. I don't understand that, and I'll never understand that. Loving my son, building my son, touching my son, playing with my son, being with my son... these aren't tasks that only super dads can perform. These are tasks that every dad should perform. Always. Without fail. There is nothing special about me. I am a dad who loves his son and would literally do anything for his well-being, safety, and health. I would gladly take a rake in the face or a jackhammer to my feet before I cut my own son down or make him feel small.

[sigh] I am far from a perfect dad. And I always will be. But I'm a damn good dad, and my son willalways feel bigger than anything life can throw at him. Why? Because I get it. I get the power a dad has in a child's life, and in a child's level of self-belief. I get that everything I ever do and ever say to my son will be absorbed, for good or for bad. What I don't get is how some dads don't get it.

Dads. Do your faces light up when you first see your child in the morning or when you come home from work? Do you not understand that a child's entire sense of value can revolve around what they see in your face when you first see them?

Dads. Do you not realize that a child is what you tell them they are? That people almost always become what they are labeled?  Was whatever your child just did really the "dumbest thing you've ever seen somebody do"? Was it really the "most ridiculous thing they ever could have done"? Do you really believe that your child is an idiot? Because she now does. Think about that. Becauseyou said it, she now believes it. Bravo.

Dads. Do you honestly expect anybody to believe that you can't find 20 minutes to step away from your computer or turn off the television to play with your child? It has to happen every single day. Do you not understand that children will hinge their entire facet of trust on whether or not their dad plays with them and how involved he is when he plays with them? Do you know the damage you do by not playing with your children every day?

Dads. Should anybody buy into this silly notion that anger is sometimes or often necessary? Do you not understand that anger is almost always an emotion for people who wish to control others while simultaneously failing to control themselves? Do you not know that there are incredible books and courses that can teach you better methods? Most importantly, do you not see the speed at which a child is crushed or becomes completely defiant when anger rules the roost? Are you that desensitized to the luminosity of your child's spirit that it doesn't crush you completely when they flinch or cower in your presence? Is that really what you want your child to do? To fear you?

Dads. Do you not realize that your child needs to feel your skin on his? Do you not realize the incredible and powerful bond that skin on skin contact with your daughter will give you? Do you not understand the permanent mental connections that are made when you stroke your son's bare back or rub your daughter's bare tummy while you tell bedtime stories? And if any idiot says anything about that being inappropriate, you're gonna get kicked in the face, first by me, and then by every other good dad out there. Touching your child is your duty as a father.

Dads. Wake up! These precious souls that have been put into your care are unique and so very sensitive. Everything you say or don't say will impact their ability, success, and happiness throughout their entire lives.

Do you not realize that your kids are going to make mistakes, and a lot of them? Do you not realize the damage you do when you push your son's nose into his mishaps or make your daughter feel worthless because she bumped or spilled something? Do you have any idea how easy it is to make your child feel abject? It's as simple as letting out the words, "why would you do that!?" or "how many times have I told you..."

Let me ask you this. Have you ever looked into the swollen eyes of a parent who's child has just died?

I have.

Have you ever cried through a child's funeral?

I have.

Have you ever touched a wooden box with a child inside? A permanent tomb from which another laugh or giggle will never sound?

I have.

If you want the motivation to be the best parent on earth, do that just one time. I pray you never have to.

Dads. It's time to tell our kids that we love them. Constantly. It's time to show our kids that we love them. Constantly. It's time to take joy in their twenty-thousand daily questions and their inability to do things as quickly as we'd like. It's time to take joy in their quirks and their ticks. It's time to takejoy in their facial expressions and their mispronounced words. It's time to take joy in everything that our kids are.

It's time to stand up and ask what we can do to be better dads. It's time to get our priorities straight. It's time to come home and actually be a dad.

Dads. It's time to show our sons how to properly treat a woman. It's time to show our daughters how a girl should expect be treated. It's time to show forgiveness and compassion. It's time to show our children empathy. It's time to break social norms and teach a healthier way of life! It's time to teach good gender roles and to ditch the unnecessary ones. Does it really matter if your son likes the color pink? Is it going to hurt anybody? Do you not see the damage it inflicts to tell a boy that there is something wrong with him because he likes a certain color? Do we not see the damage we do in labeling our girls "tom boys" or our boys "feminine" just because they have their own likes and opinions on things? Things that really don't matter?

Dads. Speak softly to your sons. Speak calmly to your daughters. Who do you want your child to be? Do you want him to be the kid at school that sits by himself with absolutely no friends or self esteem? Or do you want him to be the kid running for class office and feeling like he deserves to win it? Do we not see that we have the power to give that to our children? Do we not see that wehave the power to teach our children the tools of societal survival?

Dads. Do we not see the influence we have when we say we believe in one thing, but our children see us living something else? Do we not realize how little we encourage our children to actually decide what they believe, declare what they believe, and then live by it? Whether it's religion, politics, sports, or societal norms. It is not our place to tell our kids what to think. It is our place to teach our kids to think correctly. If we do this, we need have no fear of what they will decide for themselves and how strongly they'll stand behind it. A man will follow his own convictions to his death, but he'll only follow another man's convictions until he steps in manure.

Damn it, Dads. Every child has the innate right to ask for ice cream without being belittled and broken. Every child has the innate right to do so without being made to cower in the corner because the man who is supposed to be his hero is actually a small, small man altogether. Every child has the innate right to be happy, and giggle, and laugh, and play. Why aren't you letting them? Every child on earth has the right to a dad who thinks before he speaks; a dad who understands the great power that has been given to him to ultimately shape another human being's life; a dad who loves his child more than he loves his television shows or sports games; a dad who loves his child more than his material junk; a dad who loves his child more than his time. Every child deserves a superhero dad.

Maybe the truth is that a lot of dads don't deserve their kids.

Maybe the truth is that a lot of dads aren't really dads at all.

I apologize for the heatedness of my post. I believe a part of me feels like a coward for not saying something to the man in front of me at Costco. Consider this post to be my penance. Perhaps a part of me feels that if even one person reads this and decides to be a better dad, it was worth every second that I spent typing it. If one child has a better life because something in my words stirred their father to step up their game, then it was worth every ounce of begging and pleading with you to share this with others, of which I am inevitably going to be guilty.

Dads. Children are gifts. They are not ours for the breaking. They are ours for the making. So stand up with me and show the world that there are a lot of good dads around.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing Pleading
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Killian Class Picture - 1st Grade

Here are Killian's 1st grade class and individual pics...

Wacky Hair Day 2011

In honor of Dr. Seuss week (yesterday was Wacky Hat Day - I failed to take a photo)

It's kind of hard to tell from this photo but it's purple on one side, orange down the middle and yellow on the other side.  His design.  It's also doused in gel.

One of These Things Does Not Belong Here

Date:  February 28, 2011
Forecast:  81 degrees
Location:  Raleigh, NC

There is something wrong with this information.

Killian First School Project

To the best of my memory this is the first school project that Killian has had to turn in.

The topic is "Famous People: African-Americans, women, inventors and presidents".  Maybe not the most artistic of creations but clearly that is my boy!  

Skin Gun

Wow, that is pretty amazing...

The thing that shocked me most was the apparently very short healing time for the guy they interview.  Well, that and the entire concept.

On a Need to Know Basis

The following is a photograph of the crappy general purpose paper shredder I have at home.  Notice, in particular, the instructions for what not to shred in pictorial format (click photo for larger version).

Now, unless I am interpreting completely incorrectly, which is entirely possible, it would seem that NoviTech feels that I need to be instructed not to shred babies, human hair, water bottles, my own hand, ties or (most sensibly) paper clips.

Ok, in fairness I can understand that they're probably saying not to let children use it and perhaps not to use liquid on it for some reason but I'm really at a loss for the hair, hand and tie images.  Maybe just warnings to keep those things out of it if they are attached to you?  Sad that people need to be told if that's the case.

A-hole Lot of Bad Parking

So I went to the orthopaedic doc for a cortisone shot in the shoulder today.  Entering the parking deck, I got to experience the fury of an idiot poorly parked and taking up two parking spaces.  Fortunately, there was an open spot three spots down from there so the greater portion of my rage was abated and I had no materials to leave the driver a description of my opinion of their parking and related social skills.

I go in, get my shoulder stabbed and come out to find *this* upon my return to the parking deck:

I drive the blue Honda Element on the right.  It took every ounce of my being not to key this vehicle.  I also miraculously managed to resist providing them with a healthy door ding on their passenger side.  Seriously, WTF?!?  Other than specifically to spite me, I can't even come up with an excuse for this behavior.

This one trip may be the straw that puts writing materials in my car as a standard.

Wow that's freaky to see/hear "live"

Homeless man with golden radio voice <-- click to see

[Edit 1/7/2011:  Wow, I did not expect it to blow up quite this much when I posted it -- Wild ride of offers for homeless guy ]