The Man Code

My sister sent me this by email some time ago and, in playing catch-up, I just ran across it and gave it a read. Not bad. :)

• The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
• Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
• Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
• Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow party goers.
• Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
• If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If, within the last 24 hours, his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.
• Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
• The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
• No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.
• Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty.
• Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return, is required to grant it.
• If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem. You saw nothing.
• When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
• It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless super model...and it's free.
• A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
• If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.
• Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need. In any case, not talking is appropriate behavior.
  
• If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.
• Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat"
• Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.